kristin has been a bad kristin
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
Randomize
