Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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