batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize