apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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