Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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