My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
Randomize
