Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
As shirtless as possible
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
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