This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
