i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
You did what with his pubic hair?
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