You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Randomize
