Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
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