You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Randomize
