i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
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