Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Randomize