i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
You are a genius and a whore.
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