Me too!
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
