I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
I wish my new phone didn't autocorrect so well. People will never experience the magic of my drunk texts because they think I'm making a coherent statement.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
