She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
