So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
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