So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
