I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
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