i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
Randomize