We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
Randomize
