I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
