hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
