Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
