what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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