I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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