We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
