your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
Randomize
