WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Can I color on your dick again?
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
