What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Randomize
