Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
