if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
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