what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize
