Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
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