I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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