So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
Randomize
