She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Randomize
