i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
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