do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
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