All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
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drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
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I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
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