I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
