Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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