The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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