Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
