i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
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