How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
