I wanna bring you to show and tell
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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