Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Randomize
