dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
