if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Randomize
