ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
