Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
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