Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
This house was built for laser tag.
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Randomize
