i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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