well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
Randomize