Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Randomize
