she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
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