If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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