I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
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