If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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