Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
Randomize
