you guys were way drunker than both of me
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Randomize
