Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
