Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize